On the road to Alberquerque in one of the many storms we passed, my newly rearranged face.

November 2001

November 25th, Alberquerque road trip

I know it's been along time since I've written. That's what school will do to you, and a normal life, and a tendency to get sidetracked, and etc... But now I'm on a long road trip and I have a moment to get the Lymphoma Journal up to date. So first, let's get the recovering cancer patient stuff out of the way and then I'll move on to my life in general and the fun stuff....

Very little remains of my life with cancer. A terrible case of dandruff resutling from a year of having no hair (and no routine washing) has left my scalp incredibly sensitive to shampoo. A year ago I was wearing beanies to hide my bald head. Today I'm wearing a beanie to hide the snow stom on my head that rivals "the greatest snow on Earth."

On the subject of hair, I have grown tired of debates over wether my hair is now straighter or darker or thicker or better. As far as I've noticed I still have to shave and even comb sometimes.... Okay, I don't really mind talking about my new hair...I'm proud to have some, and it's pretty fun because it likes to stand up a lot and do it's own thing. My beard is definitely more red now, though still mostly scraggly.....

The crooks in all my fingernails which resulted from the chemotherapeutic onslaught have finally grown out, splintered off and dissappeared. Now it's safe to use them to open up the swiss arm knife again.

My lungs at peak capacity still feel like they're at 60%, which is also what my pulmonary tests say. Reguardless, I've been enjoying my longest mountainbiking seasons ever and have been riding stronger every day.

The super intense moments I was enjoying as I regained my lifestyle have tapered off. Now a good day seems more like just another good day.The magic has slightly worn off. Occasioanlly I remind myself that I am still a walking phenomonon of modern science, luck, or some unfathomable event. Life is good - I've changed for the better.

Then there are the moments of terror when I feel symptoms from my treatment and pre-diagnosis period: momentary nausia, stomach cramps, paranoia. Hard to say where these stray feeling come from, but as time rolls on I become less and less likely to have a recurrance. Time is my friend.

 


We awoke covered in snow in Moab on our way home.
Snowed out on our last bike ride of the season.(Notice how dissapointed Kuma is).

 

So where does that leave me now? Well, as I write, Christine and I are speeding along in the battered Honda on our way back to SLC. The roads are icy and curvy, the window grimed over. Like my life, it's hard to see where we're going, but we're speeding along with a sence of urgency anyway.

I've been spending a lot of time at the computer working on design. So much time that I'm not sure it's a good thing. But while designing I become obsessive. And to cater to that obsession feels good.

I've been biking a lot, too, and crashing while biking. This may stem from that sence of urgency again, that need to squeeze it all in despite the danger or whatever. When faced with seemingly unsurmountable challenges, I used to say " another day". Lately I suppose I give it a shot with a twisted sence of spontenaity? Brevity? Last chance gumption? This attitude has been fun, but it also explains my cracked helmet, split lip, constant bruises and rock star sun glasses. Did I mention that I like this living stuff.

Ohhh, Boy. Now look at all this snow. A whole new winter world is about to open up before me. With six feet of snow over Thanksgiving weekend our season has started with a bang. Time to start skiing. Yessssssss.......

 


Our backyard after thanksgiving weekend

 

Quote of the Month

"In the morning I put the comma in.
In the afternoon, I took the comma out."
By Oscar Wilde