Drawing "hats" 1/16/01



October 3rd, Group Email Message. Subject: Well

Not sure what to report other than I'm surviving chemo number 2 so far. Still have been watching a lot of movies. I've also been drifting through sobriety on anti-nausia medications. I think the nausea is hitting a bit harder this time around, which is frustrating as the medication makes it hard to take walks or enjoy the awesome fall colors which are so suddenly popping up, waking my sleepy soul. So I've been balancing things out.

Last Friday I had my biliary tube adjusted again... It must be in the right place now because it feels worlds better, and I've even been eyeing my rollerblades again... Ahhh soon my little wheelies.

I drew yesterday for about 15 minutes and it felt great. I just may be ready to be creative again.

You know what else. I'm starting to think that I look pretty damn good bald.


October 6th, Group Email Message. Subject: two Movies

Two movies in one day. That's what kind of day it's been.


October 9th, Group Email message. Subject: 2nd Week After

Well, this being my second round of chemo I've come to notice a pattern: the second week after chemo is the hardest... I'm currently stumbling through my second second week. All I can say is I can't wait for the third.

I have some good news. I had a chest x-ray taken a week ago and it shows that my chest tumor has shrunken to a third of it's size. I saw the x-rays myself and I must admit it is pretty impressive. Remember, that was the one that was bigger than my heart... No more! And that is after just one chemo!

I have also begun to notice some signs of improved drainage in my bile, so things in my abdomen may be shrinking too. This is the "grey" area that has me most concerned, we'll see.

Every time I see people now they say I'm looking better. At first I figured it was just a ploy, but so many people have mentioned it that I'm starting to believe them.. Maybe it's my new do.

There's one more chunk of good news. I don't have to shave my face anymore, my beard fell out.

Well, time for a long, hot bath, followed by visualization therapy, and then the sleeping medication.... Good night.

Me looking my worst while getting a 2nd opinion

October 10th, Group Email sent by Christine, unbeknownst by me! Subject: Birthday

Just A Reminder!!!

Jamie's 30th Surprise Birthday Party
Arrive at 7:00 We will arrive at 7:30
Back Door Will Be Open

See you tomorrow!


October 13th, Group Email Message. Subject: <no subject>

Well, found out how weak I am today. Christine bought me a new pair of clogs for my b-day. They have thick leather uppers and thick soles. I put them on and went to walk and it was like I was glued to the floor! after focused effort I could manage to lift the shoes from the floor and take a couple steps, followed by a deep breathing session. Once I made it across the room I decided that that was good enough exercise for the day and took them off.

Now the block around our house means new challenge for me......


"Clogs", drawn with a pencil in each hand


October 17th, Group Email Message. Subject: Third Week

Well, the sun, moon and stars have aligned and I feel wonderful! Nothing hurts! I'm not all that fatigued. And I have enough endurance to enjoy the sheer pleasure of doing dishes and laundry! (tell me that's not going to wear off). I'm right on schedule, my body has recovered just in time for third Chemo (Friday).

I wanted to apologize about my clog entry. It got a lot of folks worried. I was really just trying to make a joke of how tired I was at the time. And besides, they're really heavy shoes, you'd be tired too!

It's amazing the difference a week can make. All of a sudden I'm swearing off the Lay-Z-Boy and movies. I'm rollerblading, walking all over the neighborhood, doing more household chores, and dreaming of my possibilities (I'm putting the ski rack on the Honda this afternoon).

Now all we need is more snow.

Thanks for all the support.

October 19th, Email to a friend. Subject:<no subject>

Got my new skis today... Ahhhhhhhh, new skis, brand new shiny shiny sparkling skis. Had to rip them out of the staticy plastic, Ahhh, the smell, the factory wax. Peeling off the manufacturer's sticker and giving them their first good flexing. Ahh, so smooth, edges like new sharp teeth ready to slice, dice, suffice. But who needs edges when you have Utah champagne and a 10 day Alta pass to match? AHHHHhhh, got my new skis.....


October 23rd, Group Email Message. Subject: Sloshed

Still have my last chemo batch sloshing around in my head. I don't feel particularly good or bad, just pretty much ready for nothing to happen. I apathetically locked my keys in the car today. The store I was parked in front of had coat hangers hanging in the front window.... end of that story.

I switched to a new anti-nausea pill today, one of the new $50 a pill (no exaggeration) "no side-effect" sweeties. It made today seem like an eternity. I'm ready to go back to happily drifting in and out of consciousness and passing time rapidly, like yesterday. At least until I get this sloshing out of my head.

The dopeyness in my head has also led to the "cement syndrome". At night while I sleep I feed on a protein mix that is fed through my nose directly to my small intestine (so that my stomach has no say whatsoever in aborting the shipments) to help me regain my weight. In the morning after feeding I have to squirt the passage clear with a syringe of water to keep the protein from setting up like cement within minutes. Well, this morning I forgot for a couple minutes. So far, while attempting to squirt open the pathway, I've only managed to clear out my eyes or blast my face as water pressure bursts from the syringe going anywhere except down the tube.... These daily battles take time, but I'll get it clear....

The good news is that the tube is working! (when it works). I am putting on the pounds, yes. I'm getting fat! About 11 pounds fat to be exact! Incredible Hulk, look out.

Post-hair-loss, pre-eyebrow-loss: Right after I had the dreaded nasal feeding tube yanked.

October 24th, Group Email Message. Subject: No more [nasal feeding] Tube

It was irreparably clogged so they pulled it out at the hospital this morn... Weeee.

I thought I'd try to nutritionally support myself the old fashioned way (by eating) so a new one has not yet been installed.

To celebrate I had a sausage biscuit and orange juice at Mc Donald's.

Here's a pict of me from today, tube free!