|
What
Doctors Are Trying to Tell You Through Statistics
I've had a lot of different odds thrown at me over
the past 6 months. My first response to hearing my "odds"
has always been to wonder what that information really means:
what should I do, how should I live my life now, where do I buy
the audio cassettes about people with my odds? But slowly, though
constant research and sleepless nights, I have discovered the
truth about what doctors are trying to tell us with their odds:
|
|
What they're trying
to say to you
through statistics |
|
99%
|
Woops, turns out that that brain
tumor is actually just a bad headache. |
|
90%
|
You'll be fine. Better take up golf now just to be sure.
|
|
80%
|
Well, my dad beat it so you probably
can too. |
|
75%
|
Damn, I'm probably going to have
to read up a bit on this one. |
|
70%
|
Of all the cancers that can pinch
off your bowels, wipe out your immune system and slowly suffocate
you, this is the one to have! |
|
60%
|
You'll be fine. Now do you have
any more silly questions or can I go now? |
|
50%
|
I haveno idea. |
|
40%
|
I really have no idea, better
take up golf now just to be sure. |
|
30%
|
You had to pick the one subject
I failed in medical school, didn't you? |
|
20%
|
Okay, so I failed two subjects. |
|
15%
|
There's still good money in the
asbestos abatement/sword swallowing biz. |
|
10%
|
Hey, this is a great time to start
base jumping. |
|
5%
|
Ever been to Florida?
Considered cryogenics? |
|
1%
|
I'm not sure what this big word
on the pathology report means and I lost the medical dictionary
in the post doc party. |
Using the chart is simple! Take for example someone
whose chances are 20% -5%. By combining the two results, you know
that the doctor is trying to tell you to buy a condo in Florida,
start a business, and hang with Walt Disney! Happy figuring, and
I hope you take these odds as seriously as you take your doctors!
|
